Finding the New Norm Managing as a New Parent

Whether you are a new parent or this is your fourth child, having a new baby can be draining on both your physical and mental health. Often parents are warned about the lack of sleep they will endure as a new parent, when in reality there are additional challenges that can cause new parents to struggle. It is important not to minimize the mental health toll from a lack of sleep; however, new parents may also struggle with significantly increased stress due to extended family involvement, their child's level of development, and reduced self-care.

Being able to bring your newborn home with you is very exciting; however, at times it can also bring about additional emotions, such as increased anxiety, fear, and sadness. It is important to remember, not everyone's journey of bringing home a child is the same. For example, some children may need short or extended periods in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. No matter the process, every parent experiences this journey differently.

Due to these individual differences, it is important for new parents to be mindful of what they need. At times, extended family members and/or friends may voice their opinions. It is important to remember that you are entitled to set and maintain boundaries that feel right to you. For example, grandparents may be eager to see their grandchild; however, new parents might decide it is best to wait before an initial interaction. Learning to say "no," and expressing your desires and needs without guilt may initially be difficult, but practice does make perfect.

Whether you have a strict routine already established from previous children or you are learning the ropes with your first, your time is often spent taking care of your new little one. Oftentimes we can get caught up on whether we are "doing the right thing." Asking ourselves, "Am I providing them with appropriate skills?," "Am I feeding them enough?," "Am I going back to work too early?" Many of these self-doubts may be amplified as you are caring for your newborn. Due to the significant emotional toll the process can take, it is essential that new parents are utilizing self-care strategies. Self-care can include giving yourself time to catch up on sleep, taking a bath, socializing with friends/family, and getting a meal. By engaging in self-care, you are not neglecting your child, you are allowing yourself to recharge in order to be the parent you are hoping to become. Similarly, dropping your child off at daycare or a friend/family member's home in order to get self-care at home or out in the community does not mean you are a bad parent. In reality, you are creating healthy habits to take care of you as a new parent.

Asking for help can be difficult, but it is important to remember there are resources out there. These resources can assist in reducing unnecessary strain on yourself and your new family. If you are in need of support for your newborn or obtaining access to essentials, make sure to speak with your Pediatrician or obstetrician (OB). Additionally, State resources and services are available through an Early Intervention program for children/families, sometimes free of charge. To explore resources and see if you quality you can go to: https://www.dhs.pa.gov/Services/Children/Pages/Early-Intervention-Services.aspx

Finally, prioritizing your own mental health needs is key, especially for those who recently gave birth. It is important to reach out to your provider if you notice any mental health changes, such as increased anxiety, sadness, loneliness, self-harming, and/or homicidal/suicidal thoughts.

Remember that you can also talk to someone. If you would like the name of a qualified psychologist in your area, please try our Psychologist Locator. Many mental health services are available online so that you can get support you need without leaving your home. If you need immediate assistance, please dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.