Psychological News You Can Use - April 2009

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Layoffs: Taking the Right Emotional Action - Rex P. Gatto, Ph.D. and Mickey Gatto, M.Ed.

The words that many people are most afraid to hear today are, "You are laid off." When receiving this news, people can go through a rapid cycle of emotions: surprise, anger, rejection and acceptance.

In the surprise stage ("me, why me, what did I do wrong"), bargaining may begin: "I will take a cut in pay if I can stay." Anger may manifest itself in unrealistic negative statements such as "I always hated this company" or "George and Mary, who did not get laid off, never worked as hard as me." In rejection, the expression "this was an awful place to work, I'm glad I'm out of here" typifies the emotion.

A person who demonstrates acceptance looks at the layoff as an opportunity to find a better job with new challenges and new people. However, for people who are laid off, it is more often a natural first reaction to focus on self and blame themselves or the company for everything. Thinking such unhelpful thoughts as "this should not have happened at all," or "everything the organization did was wrong" needs to run its course.

Continuing to focus only on the negative can be destructive and, in fact, may impede finding a new position. Once the thoughts that support anger and "rejection of the company" dissipate, being laid off can then be viewed as a new transition period of positive thinking, as a change in employment status, as a time to move on.

There is actually much that can be done to help speed up the time to resilience or recovery. To arrive at this point, the individuals must create a new mental process by thinking differently about the event:

• They can tell themselves that even though they are experiencing negative thoughts they also realize that they still have a great deal of talent.
• They can remind themselves that they have the confidence within themselves to be successful when they move on to a new position.
• They need to be aware of emotions, but shouldn't excessively indulge in those emotions.
• They need to look at the layoff as a learning process to help prepare them better for the next position.

A layoff can be viewed as a painful and devastating period disguised as a great opportunity to advance. Look at the situation in a positive light and ask what has been learned through this work and layoff experience. Have the confidence within oneself to write a new resume, network effectively, present positively in an interview, and accept another position. Refocus on opportunities from past positions that can be used to best benefit in new positions. Review what training and certifications were attained in prior positions and list what opportunities are available through networking.

All of these thoughts help to correct and balance the emotional relationship within the individual. People in such situations must learn to accept where they are. Acceptance doesn't mean agreeing with the way people ran the organization, or agreeing with the involuntary termination. It means understanding emotional reactions, being ready to begin a new position with self-development thoughts, and then moving on to a positive and challenging new opportunity.

Here are actions that can be taken to begin the resilience process (the comeback).

1. Buy a notebook and begin keeping a journal outlining all of the actions that you will take. Action topics to keep in a journal could include a list of networking organizations and identification of key people to network. Write dates, places and people in the journal.
2. In your journal, outline your emotions, how you are feeling, the situation that triggered each emotion, and best/worst-case outcomes.
3. Outline professional skills and knowledge, personal skills and abilities (such as presentation experience and PowerPoint abilities).
4. Locate the appropriate professional organizations in which to network. Look, for example, at the Chamber of Commerce, the Lions or Rotary Clubs. Go to professional organization lunches at places such as engineer clubs, High Tech Council, or human resource management organizations.
5. Become more active: don't fall into disengagement during this emotionally chaotic time of being laid off. To keep active is most important at this juncture. Look at the newspapers or Business Times and identify various ways to professionally network and put this in the journal.
6. Challenge yourself to maintain a positive attitude about the present situation and the future. Finding a job is a job in itself. It is vital to create a positive attitude about yourself, the future, your family, and the workplace, and to maintain confidence within to find a new position.
7. To begin the actual job search process, write in the journal all the talents that you have demonstrated in past positions. Many people do not realize that their job title - for example, engineer, administrator or salesperson - does not solely nor adequately define their skills. You should look at all of the skills that you have actually demonstrated. Some of the skills could include putting presentations together, creating PowerPoint slides, leading meetings, facilitating, asking questions, advising, coaching, mentoring, phone skills, networking skills, the ability to build trust, and systematically asking the right questions. Those are all skills that stay with people regardless of a position, if they have confidence in themselves to effectively verbalize and utilize those skills.
8. Simulate an interview - practice to say things such as, "What I have learned in my last job was…." or "I am looking for a position that will challenge me."

There is a lot you can do to regain confidence and to carry yourself in a more positive light. Even though this is an extremely difficult period, the best way to move beyond is to remain calm, positive and confident, and accept the job of finding a job.

Rex Gatto, Ph.D., winner of the American Society of Training and Development Outstanding Speaker Award, is an internationally known speaker and author whose insights and breakthrough research on the characteristics of U.S. management have helped organizations enhance their productivity and individuals enrich their lives.

 

Mindfulness Meditation for Distress - Christine Molnar, Ph.D.

It is easy to miss out on your life when almost all of your energy and attention are invested in avoiding pain. People diagnosed with certain emotional disorders do this. They get so invested in thought processes and behaviors aimed at avoiding death, loss, endings, rejection, and all that feels bad that they miss out on the moments that make up their very lives. This intention to avoid pain is very human and our bodies are even wired to learn to do it automatically. It only takes one burn from a hot flame to teach us to avoid it and the things and places associated with it.

We respond similarly to emotional pain. Add to this wiring a conscious mind that remembers, thinks, and imagines potential sources of pain and you have a person whose life can become restricted in a misguided effort to preserve life. Fortunately, through mindfulness meditation we can train our attention to be aware of the mental and behavioral habits that are limiting life and choose habits that nurture life. Mindfulness guides us in reclaiming the many moments that make up our life and in diffusing and befriending intense negative emotions.

Mindfulness is the awareness that occurs when we intentionally focus our attention on the present moment non-judgmentally. It can be learned in a class called mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) training that was originally developed for people with untreatable physical pain. Through MBSR one relearns how to perceive inner and outer events non-conceptually and through direct sensory experience in this moment. Such perception is less blinded by previous experiences and the stories we tell ourselves about reality. Mindfulness is really a way of life that enhances our ability to let go of thoughts that are not useful and redirect energy in a way that will assist us in getting our needs met creatively and flexibly.

Mindfulness is best understood through the direct experience of practice that is guided by an instructor in person or via a meditation CD. A trained instructor will guide you in paying attention to experience with certain attitudes that include relating with self and others compassionately with acceptance, curiosity, and openness and without striving or reactivity. Mindful attention resembles the attention of an effective parent toward his or her child. Just like good parenting, mindfulness also requires consistency and discipline.

MBSR training starts with instructions for attending to just one object, such as the breath, and letting go of the automatic judgments that may occur when the mind inevitably wanders. Eventually one learns to attend mindfully to multiple objects in awareness, such as thoughts, internal and external sensations, and feelings. Ultimately the goal is to bring this way of paying attention into everyday life so that our responses are based on what is real and compassionate.

The easiest way for many to do this is by dropping into the sensations of this breath, right now, and the calm stillness that lies at the end of the out breath. This stillness remains always constant even as the breath ebbs and flows. With every out breath we can let go of all that is not useful in this moment. With each in breath we can be receptive to what is here now. In this way we can reconnect to this moment by following the sensations of the breath and then also opening up to other senses such as sight and sound.

MBSR is effective at reducing distress because it anchors us in this moment and not in the past or the future as emotional disorders do. Not surprisingly, elements of MBSR have been integrated into traditional psychotherapy for a range of emotional disorders that are associated with unhealthy behaviors. Many psychologists now teach mindfulness to people who tend to get hijacked by their emotions. The thoughts, body sensations, and urges to engage in behaviors that we learn to notice mindfully through meditation are all components of emotions.

Consider fear with its thoughts about threat, its sensations of the body mobilizing to protect itself, and its urges to escape and vigilantly search for threat. When based on accurate perception of reality, primary emotions such as fear promote survival and tell us what we need. Mindfulness teaches people to pause and be aware of the calm stillness at the end of the breath, and of all that is actually here right now, before responding when fear is present. Once grounded in this stillness and spacious awareness that is always a breath away, one can observe the elements of emotions as just mental events that are not always an accurate representation of reality.

Some emotions are just wasted energy. Anxiety and depression, called secondary emotions, waste our energy and muddy our perception by crowding out what else can be perceived through attention and awareness. A body responding to anxious thoughts about the future and depressive thoughts about the past as if they are present now is not responding to what is here right now in this moment. Mindfulness can teach us to ground emotional experience in what is really here now and to let go of the thoughts and behaviors that take a toll on our body unnecessarily. With mindfulness we can diffuse anxiety and depression, notice the primary emotions behind them, and choose a response grounded in reality.

With practice one can train attention to notice a spacious awareness that is much larger than the thoughts, sensations, and urges of maladaptive emotions. This allows us to pause and see creative ways of responding to what is actually here and possible right now. Awareness is always only one mindful breath away. Paying attention mindfully really can save your life because it will ground your attention in this moment, which is the only time we ever have for learning, growing, and being alive.

Christine Molnar, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and president of Mindful Exposure Therapy for Anxiety (META) & Psychological Wellness Center, Inc., in Abington, PA. For more information about mindfulness meditation visit www.meta4stress.com

In this time of a financial recession, children may be noticing and reacting to the increased stress of their parents. Adult fears about paying mortgages, tuition, gas, and day to day expenses are common and can be picked up by children.

Open communication between parents and their children is the foundation of a healthy relationship. It is important to be honest with your children but to share information in a way that is not overwhelming or too much of a burden. Discussion should be aimed at age- appropriate levels. Older children and teens are already exposed to the news and have some knowledge about the recession. Discussing their awareness of the economy and concerns about the potential effects on the family can help clear up unrealistic fears and be reassuring. Talking with your children and asking about their thoughts and feelings can help clear up any misunderstandings, ease their anxieties and reduce their stress. It is also helpful for parents to offer reassurance with potential or actual strategies about what is needed to be done so that things will be okay.

• Pay attention to signs of stress that your child may experience, such as nightmares, sleep or appetite changes, difficulty concentrating or avoidance of situations or people.
• Parents who use healthful stress-reducing behaviors themselves are positive role models for their children. The use of good problem-solving skills, exercise, eating well, getting enough sleep, being creative in some way, and listening to music are all helpful. For example, taking a walk after dinner or dancing to favorite tunes are fun and inexpensive ways to distract oneself from worrying and to foster family connection.
• Parents can also use this time as an opportunity to influence their children's expectations about material possessions and to reinforce financial values. Children can be taught about budgeting and that money coming in needs to be balanced with money going out. A savings account can be set up or a certain amount allocated for charity. It may be important for teenagers to work at an income-producing job. Children might then better understand that a new Xbox or iPod may not be feasible to buy this year.
• On the bright side, these times can be used as a wonderful chance to prioritize what is important: building strong relationships with friends and family and promoting emotional and physical health.

Judith Blau, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist with a practice in Doylestown, PA. She works with individuals, couples, and families, and specializes in the treatment of relationship and communication issues, stress, anxiety, depression, and eating disorders.

The current economic crunch is affecting everyone, including many businesses. More than ever, employers need to limit costs while maximizing productivity. Psychology has had a role in helping businesses achieve success for years and continues to play an active role today. While many books address financial problems, and business consultants are readily available, free information is available on the Internet that can help to improve any office.

For many employees, fear of losing a job combined with increasing work responsibilities causes a significant amount of stress. Prior research has shown that too much stress can lead to employee dissatisfaction, decreased productivity and increased absenteeism. Web MD notes a variety of ways that employees can learn to reduce job stress , including some activities that can be done at the office. Reducing high stress levels can also promote employee health, which helps to cut down on healthcare costs. Many of these techniques have been used by psychologists for years in the treatment of stress in a private practice setting and can be just as effective in the work environment.

While helping employees deal with difficulties in the workplace is one consideration, assisting employers with managing their staff is equally important. The Web site Employer-Employee addresses both sides of the workforce relationship. Though some of the articles are dated, the site provides several articles and resources on topics such as receiving feedback, sexual harassment, employee burnout and effective hiring practices.

The provocatively labeled Web site, Badbossology has many articles from multiple publications that deal with topics like workplace hostility, as well as common concerns that employees have with their bosses. Such a Web site can be of value for both employers and employees in being able to identify where communication breaks down and can provide a roadmap to avoid breakdowns that can occur in professional settings.

Keeping a harmonious workplace starts with the selection of employees who are a "good fit" for the position. Care must be taken in finding a good fit for the work setting, as well as for the specific job duties. This makes effective hiring practices essential. One manner in which this can occur is through employment testing. Though this needs to be done with care in order to ensure fair and accurate measurement, the potential benefit of hiring the best candidate cannot be overlooked, especially when specific skills are necessary for job performance.

The ability for a company to keep their best employees is also important. One manner of doing so is to reward those who do well, to communicate goals to all, and to show all employees their specific role within the organization. Some psychologists have begun to develop measurements to further assess work satisfaction. A few are even available for free (with some restrictions) on the Internet. One example is the Job Satisfaction Scale. This self-report measure can be given to numerous employees with little cost and time investment, and can provide valuable information that can help to jump start workplace changes.

While these Web sites are a great place to start learning about how to make the workplace a better setting for everyone involved, they only scratch the surface of the possibilities that exist when psychology helps employers and employees to better their performance. In situations that are more complicated, consultation with a professional may be a better option. The Internet can help with this as well. The Society for Industrial and Organizational Psychology and the Pennsylvania Psychological Association (www.papsy.org) provide locators that can find consultants based on areas of expertise, geographical location, and topics of interest.

Aaron D.Williams, MS, a doctoral student member of PPA, works for Hugh S. Smith, Ph.D., and Associates P.C. as Regional Manager and a Psychological Associate. Mr. Williams and his colleagues provide a variety of psychological assessments, primarily for children, across more than 30 counties in Pennsylvania. More information regarding both Mr. Williams and Hugh S. Smith, Ph.D., and Associates, P.C., can be found at www.hssmithassociates.com.

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