Psychological News You Can Use - April 2008

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Americans are going through a difficult economic period right now. We have all heard the grim news of recent stock market plunges, increasing interest rates and oil prices, the housing crisis, job losses, and other elements of an economic recession. While today's economy is not the Great Depression of 1929, it is troubling nevertheless. Yes, we are fearful - because we have lost some of the security we have come to know. We worry about our jobs, our investments, and about paying our bills. These are natural concerns, and for better or worse, it's important to remember that we're all in this together. So, on an individual level, how can you cope during these financially troubling times? Here are some tips:

• Accept reality rather than trying to resist it. Realize that this is only a temporary condition, part of the economic cycle. Changes will come in the future.
• Accept your feelings as valid and use them productively to improve your personal situation to the extent possible. Do not succumb to feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.
• Adopt a positive mindset and take control over what you can, and for those things you can't control, learn to let go. Do not allow your worries to consume you.
• Get your finances in order. Make a budget and control your spending. Plan and prepare for now and for the future. Books and Web sites can provide some general guidance in this area, or you may wish to hire an accountant or financial planner to assist with your unique situation.
• Talk to others about your concerns. Receiving social support can improve your mood and reduce your stress level. If you are feeling extremely overwhelmed and are having trouble functioning then you should seek help from a mental health professional.

Knowledge can also help you to cope. Information can be found in various places. For example, a Newsweek article by Daniel Gross defines a recession as "…a widespread contraction in economic activity lasting more than a few months, and because of the lag in financial data, recessions typically aren't officially declared until long after they start. In short, the United States could already be in one." (D. Gross, 2008, p. 39).

Recent magazine articles provide some assistance for dealing with the current state of the economy. Newsweek's "A Recession Handbook" by Linda Stern offers advice on protecting your job, portfolio, pocketbook, and psyche. (L. Stern, 2008). U.S. News & World Report's "6 Ways to Thrive During a Recession" by Rick Newman gives some suggestions for making the best of a bad market. (R. Newman, 2008). Money's "Survival Strategies" by Stephen Gandel shows how to make you and your family recession-proof. (S. Gandel, 2008). Time's "Ignore the Headlines!" by Dan Kadlec explains why now is a good time to buy a home. (D. Kadlec, 2008). Money's "Strategies for Uncertain Times" by Carolyn Bigda, Asa Fitch, Josh Hyatt, and Yuval Rosenberg offers some investment tips for various stages in life. (C. Bigda et al., 2008).

Finally, a little bit of humor can help soothe the pain of the present-day economy. Ziggy, like the rest of us, is having money problems, as a recent comic strip shows. Ziggy is at a restaurant and has ordered the "businessman's lunch." When it arrives and Ziggy sees his paltry meal, his waiter laments, "I'm sorry, but a government bureaucrat grabbed 40% of it!" (T. Wilson II, "Ziggy," February 5, 2008). Many Americans can relate to this scenario. The tips and resources given in this article and a lighter perspective should make coping easier.

References:

Bigda, C., Fitch, A., Hyatt, J., & Rosenberg, Y. (2008, February). Strategies for uncertain times, Money

Gandel, S. (2008, March). Survival strategies. Money, 37(3), 78-82.

Gross, D. (2008, February 4). The U.S. economy faces the guillotine. Newsweek, 151(5), 39-42.

Kadlec, D. (2008, February 25). Ignore the headlines! Time, 171(8), 54.

Newman, R. (2008, February 20). Six ways to thrive during a recession. U.S. News & World Report, Retrieved February 22, 2008, from http://www.usnews.com/blogs/flowchart/2008/2/20/6-ways-to-thrive-during-a-recession.html.

Stern, L. (2008, February 4). A recession handbook. Newsweek, 151(5), 60.

Wilson, T. II. (2008, February 5). "Ziggy" comic strip. The Philadelphia Inquirer, 179(250), D7.

Dr. Sybil L. Holloway is a Psychological Counselor/Assistant Professor at Bloomsburg University and a freelance writer. She writes a monthly "Stressbusters" column for The Morning Call of Allentown, PA.

Throughout 2008, PPA acknowledges the work of an outstanding Pennsylvania psychologist in each of our newsletters.

Internet abuse and addiction is rampant and on the rise. What family, business, or organization has not been worried about the costs of these problems in financial, social and emotional terms? Psychologists have taken leading roles in identifying and treating Internet addictions.

This month PPA salutes Kimberly Young, Psy.D, a nationally and internationally known pioneer in combating Internet addiction. Combining her training in behavioral medicine and neuropsychology with her background in Web and systems design, Dr. Young has led the discussion of Internet addiction and online behavior and its effect on adults, families, and children. She is the author of "Caught in the Net," the first book to address Internet addiction, and "Tangled in the Web," and has published over 40 articles on the impact of online abuse. Dr. Young has been quoted and interviewed for numerous publications including the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Newsweek and The New York Times, effectively translating research in this area into relevant, usable information for the general public. Thanks to Dr. Young, each of us has more tools than ever for reducing internet addiction problems among our friends and family. You can find more information on Dr. Young and this important area of work at www.netaddiction.com.

Many children who suffer from distractibility problems genuinely intend to succeed in their schoolwork, only to discover that doing well in school often becomes a losing battle. While it is natural for parents to find the distractibility of their children to be very challenging and frustrating, it only complicates matters when adults react harshly. When showered with anger or negative messages, the distracted child experiences feelings of inadequacy and shame, usually becoming even more distractible.

A better approach is to explain how proud you are of how hard your child has worked to achieve success, even though he has been challenged with distractibility.

Distractibility in children can be the result of one or any combination of several sources. These include:

• Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Major life changes (e.g., divorce, relocation)
• Learning Disabilities

If you want to manage your child's distractibility, you must manage your own strong reactions, and respond in a calm, systematic way. Here are 8 proven tips for helping distracted children at home or in the classroom.

• Be mindful. Remember that the distraction-prone child is struggling with feelings of inadequacy.
• Avoid yelling. Yelling only clouds your child's mind, making him more distractible.
• Be calm, firm, and non-controlling. Keeping your cool, stating clear expectations and trying not to command these children is the formula for success.
• Keep proactive and open communication with your child's teachers. Distracted children tend to shut down quickly when they encounter obstacles. The great news, however, is that you can help your child resist sinking and keep on swimming if you stay active and involved.
• Encourage your child to break big assignments and tasks into smaller and more manageable ones. This strategy is overlooked and underused. Distracted kids will feel more motivated by small successes versus big failures.
• Use checklists. Help your child get into the habit of keeping a to-do list. It's very reinforcing to be able to cross tasks off a list.
• Be a helper but not an enabler. Doing too much to help your child to finish a difficult assignment may feel good to her, but it's not good for her.
• Build your child's self-esteem. Amidst their considerable challenges, it is easy for distracted children to feel that they are often in trouble and inferior to their peers. Let your child know that in addition to loving him that you believe in him.

Remember that distracted children are often surrounded with negativity and begin to expect failure. As much as you may hope your distracted child will outgrow her distractibility down the road, it is far from certain. For some children, the symptoms get better as they grow older and learn to adjust. Others, because of their genetics, may demonstrate continued tendencies toward distraction. Just keep in mind that the distractible children with the best chance of becoming well-adjusted adults are those who have loving, supportive parents who work together with school staff, mental health workers, and their healthcare provider (when needed).

Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein works with children, couples, and families. More strategies to manage defiant children at home and at school can be found in 10 Days to a Less Distracted Child and on his Web site www.Drjeffonline.com.

We seem to be running more and trying to do more with each year that goes by, and time with our children can suffer. More meals are shared in minivans than around kitchen tables and the average American father spends nine minutes one-on-one each week with his teenage child. Creating "special time" is an effective way to increase closeness with your child, no matter how busy your life may seem.

This exercise will sound simple to do, because mostly you are not doing anything. Special time involves spending one hour a week, one-on-one, doing nothing but attending to, praising, and expressing positive emotion towards your child.

• You can wait until your child is doing some activity that you can praise her for (e.g., drawing, shooting baskets, playing a video game, etc.). Then stand or sit next to her, watch what she is doing, praising that which you believe is praise-worthy and expressing any nice feelings that you are having.
• The second method is just to tell your child that you'd like to spend some special time with him, as he matters so much to you and you love him so; then ask him what he'd like to do that you can watch.

If you had a videotape of a parent doing special time well, three verbs would describe that parent's behavior: attending, praising and emoting. You ought to be able to have your hands in your pockets, except maybe to rub your child's back or tussle his hair.

Special time is different from quality time. Quality time is a great thing, but when I'm sharing quality time with one of my children something else besides my child is capturing my attention. If I go to a ballgame with my son I am giving him attention, but I am also giving the game and our surroundings attention too. On the other hand, when I watch him, as a master-Jedi, battling the dark side of the force, and comment on his skill with a light saber, I'm doing special time. Quality time is 70 percent attention to the child; special time is 100 percent attention to the child.

Other parenting actions, such as teaching, inquiring, sharing alternative perspectives, or correcting are valuable, too, but they can be done during the other 99.5% of the week. Special time is just for attending, praising and emoting. "I like your choice of color for that tree." "Great shot!" "I could never advance through those levels so quickly, very good." "I love spending time alone with you." "Your speed on those skates is remarkable." "Have I told you lately that no one matters more to me than you?" With practice, you'll find the right dosing and the right praise that works for your child.

For older children, special time may be more likely to be done during a very different type of conversation. During this conversation, you only listen and point out that which you value, appreciate or admire: "I never looked at it that way." "You have a creative mind." "That's one of the things that I most admire about you, your loyalty to your friends." "I have a lot of respect for how hard you handled yourself to that situation." If you hear things you don't like, bite your tongue and wait until you hear something you can value and endorse. Special time during a conversation is akin to being an effective in-law: you say what you like and be quiet about the rest!

If you really want to hit the ground running, aim to do 20 minutes of special time each day with each child for the first week. After that, set a target of at least one hour each week with each child. This can be done all at once (how I do it), or you can break it up into segments (i.e., three 20 minute periods or two 30 minute periods). I refer to this hour as the minimal, weekly attentional requirement for any healthy parent-child relationship.

Imagine one hour of relaxing, noncritical attention and praise a week. For most adults this would be like a crackling, warm fire on a chilly winter's night. For kids it is incredibly powerful. Once you see the effect on your child you will be sold on the power of special time.

For a more complete review of special time, you are welcome to attend a one-hour lecture I will be offering at the annual meeting of the Pennsylvania Psychological Association. The lecture is free, open to the public and currently scheduled for 6/18/08 at noon. To register please call (717) 232-3817.

D. J. Palmiter, Jr., Ph.D., ABPP, is PPA's Communications Board Chair and a Psychology Professor and Director of the Psychological Services Center at Marywood University in Scranton, PA.

1. Identify the right: goal, problem, or issues and ask the right questions.
2. Present general information before giving specific information this will help to clarify your message.
3. Identify the level of understanding of the listeners.
4. To inform - show people the facts.
5. To Influence - make eye contact and present your point of view.
6. Create a plan of action to follow up action on what you stated.

   A positive thought - Listen, empathize, clarify and respectfully respond to create a better workplace.

Tip #5 - Work Life Balance
We all juggle 3 balls in work life balance: work, family and self. Are you dropping any balls? How can you keep all your balls in the air?

1. Identify what you want to accomplish - set clear, realistic goals
2. Stay focused on priorities.
3. Identify what needs to be done first.
4. Collaborate with others, you can do more by sharing your ideas and taking the right action.
5. Listen and understand to clarify actions to be taken.

   At the end of the day create an "I did" list of daily accomplishments that you provided. Remember time is a partner in my life not the enemy.

1. Identify the causes of your stress (time, family, money, conflicts, too many demands and workload.
2. Identify the signs of your stress: feeling anxious, overwhelmed or angry
3. Learn about tension discharge rate, ways to lessening your stress; examples keep a journal, exercise, read, or listen to music
4. Set realistic priorities.
5. Take fifteen minutes of uninterrupted time to relax in the morning and afternoon.

Remember you can control stress by positive thoughts about yourself and others.

Rex Gatto, Ph.D., is a business consultant and owner of Gatto Associates, LLC, of Pittsburgh.

PPA secured the requirement for evaluations by school psychologists for most special education placements.

PPA secured passage of a hospital continuity of care bill that allows general hospitals to place psychologists on their professional staffs and to participate on treatment teams, and that requires the attending physician to notify the patient's psychologist upon admission and discharge.

PPA fought off attempts to abolish psychological services within Workers Compensation and, in fact, successfully advocated elimination of the requirement for a physician's referral before psychologists could provide services.